Episode 43

bonus
Published on:

21st Nov 2025

Disaster Diaries: The One Where Everything Feels Heavy

Today felt slow, soggy, and emotionally dense — not because of chaos, but because life itself felt heavy. Between caregiving, exhaustion, a FedEx package that refuses to leave Chicago, and Mercury still doing cartwheels in retrograde, my bandwidth hovered at “running on fumes.”

We kicked off day one of our annual vendor event (shoutout to Scentsy season), and even though I wasn’t feeling the spark I usually do, the night turned out better than expected. I talk through the emotional weight of this season, the financial pressures we’re working through, and the small pockets of optimism I’m trying to keep alive — from remote job possibilities to slow but steady progress on our Total Money Makeover.

Nothing dramatic today. Just honest. Just heavy. Just real.

🧭 In This Episode

  • Starting the day tired and emotionally low
  • A Scentsy shipment held hostage in Chicago
  • Caregiving fatigue + mental load
  • Vendor event kickoff
  • Cold, rainy November vibes
  • Total Money Makeover updates
  • Remote job leads + cautious optimism
  • Why I’m not built for open-office seating
  • Just… life being life

💡 Key Takeaways

  • Some days aren’t chaotic — they’re just heavy.
  • Caregiving doesn’t pause for work, hobbies, or wellness routines.
  • Retrograde chaos makes tech issues feel personal.
  • You can love people and still feel overwhelmed by them.
  • Hope can be small and quiet — a job lead, a warmer day, a plan.

⚠️ Content Note:

This diary includes themes of caregiver stress, emotional heaviness, tech frustration, financial anxiety, and burnout. No graphic content, but it’s an emotionally weighted entry.

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🏷️ Keywords / Tags

disaster diaries, high functioning disaster, caregiving stress, emotional heaviness, burnout, financial stress, Scentsy vendor life, shipping delays, Mercury retrograde issues, project manager job search, remote work, total money makeover, daily audio diary

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📌 Standard Disclaimer

This podcast reflects personal experiences and opinions and is for informational and peer-support purposes only. It is not medical, mental health, legal, or financial advice. Please consult qualified professionals for guidance specific to you.

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About the Podcast

The High-Functioning Disaster
High-functioning on the outside. Hot mess on the inside.
You’ve got the color-coded calendar, the competent job persona, the “I’m fine!” mask down to an art—and a mental load heavy enough to throw out your back. Meanwhile, life? That's a hot mess express—total chaos with zero chill and a full tank of emotional baggage. And what makes it even worse? Nearly no one’s talking about it.

Welcome to The High-Functioning Disaster, a podcast for people who are doing their best to hold it together while navigating burnout, grief, trauma, anxiety, caretaking duties, family drama, body image issues, and a to-do list that never quits.

Host Sacha Holder isn’t the disaster (neither are you!)—life is. And this show is about making space for that truth and giving ourselves permission to say it out loud. Every week, Sacha explores what it means to be deeply human in a world that keeps demanding more. Sometimes she’s flying solo, sometimes she brings along guests and friends—but the vibe is always real, raw, unfiltered, and grounded in radical self-acceptance and permission to be human.

We talk boundaries. Body image. Mental health. Emotional labor. The moments where everything feels like too much—and the ones where we catch our breath and keep going.

This isn’t a self-help podcast. It’s a self-permission podcast.
Permission to be exhausted.
To not have it together.
To be honest about what’s hard—without needing to package it as a “lesson.”

Because you don’t need fixing.
You need space to fall apart—and still be seen.
Because some of us are just trying to make it through the day.
And here? That’s more than enough.
New episodes every Monday. Come as you are. Seriously.
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About your host

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Sacha Holder

Sacha Holder is a project manager, podcast host, and bariatric patient who’s not here to pretend it’s all perfect. With over a decade of professional experience and a whole lot of lived experience, she creates podcasts that tell the truth about what it means to live, heal, and grow — through chaos, and curveballs, while keeping it together (mostly).

She’s the voice behind Life in the Bari Lane, a bite-sized bariatric podcast for real people navigating post-op life, and The High-Functioning Disaster, a show about showing up even when everything feels like too much. Through humor, honesty, and zero judgment, Sacha builds community through conversation — because no one should have to figure it out alone.