Episode 30

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Published on:

11th Nov 2025

Emma Lyons on Evicting the Inner Narcissist (Part 2)

In Part 2 of my conversation with Emma Lyons — trauma-informed healer and founder of The Trauma Matrix — we move from awareness to action.

Emma explains why mindset work alone can’t undo shame, and how the real healing happens when we retrain the nervous system to feel safe again. We talk about breathwork, yoga, and her B.R.E.A.K. method for interrupting shame attacks in real time.

She also unpacks why visibility, success, and even receiving love can feel dangerous — and how dismantling the “inner narcissist” helps you show up as your authentic self without fear or self-criticism.

If you’ve ever wondered why you shrink when it’s time to shine, or why doing “all the right healing work” still isn’t landing — this episode is your missing link.

🔑 Key Takeaways

  • Shame isn’t an emotion — it’s a control mechanism.
  • Mindset shifts don’t stick if the body still feels unsafe.
  • Breathwork and movement create real safety in the nervous system
  • The B.R.E.A.K. method helps interrupt shame spirals: Break, Refuse, Expose, Anchor, Kick it out.
  • Visibility triggers shame because authenticity threatens control — but when you release shame, you become “un-shamable.”
  • Free gift from Emma: tinyurl.com/nottodaynarc

⚠️ Content Note

Includes discussion of shame, narcissistic family dynamics, and brief mention of suicidal ideation (non-graphic). Please take care while listening.

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Keywords

Emma Lyons, The Trauma Matrix, inner narcissist, inner critic, shame, guilt vs shame, trauma, nervous system, somatic healing, breathwork, yoga, survival response, people-pleasing, perfectionism, visibility, self-trust, boundaries, Dr Ramani, shameless, self-erasure

🎧In Part 2, Emma shares her B.R.E.A.K. Method for interrupting shame attacks, how to apply it to real-life narcissists, and why visibility and receiving often feel unsafe for women. Spoiler: she dismantles the myth that we should “learn to live with shame.”

👉 Make sure you’re subscribed to The High-Functioning Disaster so you don’t miss this next chapter.

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The High-Functioning Disaster
High-functioning on the outside. Hot mess on the inside.
You’ve got the color-coded calendar, the competent job persona, the “I’m fine!” mask down to an art—and a mental load heavy enough to throw out your back. Meanwhile, life? That's a hot mess express—total chaos with zero chill and a full tank of emotional baggage. And what makes it even worse? Nearly no one’s talking about it.

Welcome to The High-Functioning Disaster, a podcast for people who are doing their best to hold it together while navigating burnout, grief, trauma, anxiety, caretaking duties, family drama, body image issues, and a to-do list that never quits.

Host Sacha Holder isn’t the disaster (neither are you!)—life is. And this show is about making space for that truth and giving ourselves permission to say it out loud. Every week, Sacha explores what it means to be deeply human in a world that keeps demanding more. Sometimes she’s flying solo, sometimes she brings along guests and friends—but the vibe is always real, raw, unfiltered, and grounded in radical self-acceptance and permission to be human.

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Sacha Holder

Sacha Holder is a project manager, podcast host, and bariatric patient who’s not here to pretend it’s all perfect. With over a decade of professional experience and a whole lot of lived experience, she creates podcasts that tell the truth about what it means to live, heal, and grow — through chaos, and curveballs, while keeping it together (mostly).

She’s the voice behind Life in the Bari Lane, a bite-sized bariatric podcast for real people navigating post-op life, and The High-Functioning Disaster, a show about showing up even when everything feels like too much. Through humor, honesty, and zero judgment, Sacha builds community through conversation — because no one should have to figure it out alone.